Fire and Ice Ch. 13

After the discussion with my mother- which had been intended to console me but just left me quite frankly confused- I prepared myself for the day and made my way to breakfast, which was even more awkward than yesterday. The Firelord sat at the head of the table, as always, looking pleased as he ate, the Firelady to his right looking, well, bored… but that was nothing new. Every time I stole a glance at Firelady Mai my stomach tied in a knot, because I knew one day I'd have to take her place as leading lady. Not to mention my mother and father watching Shang and I carefully, because I could tell they both were unsure of their decision based on the reaction I'd given them, and of course there was Shang sitting next to me, and being next to him right now was really, really awkward.

After we'd all eaten I had strict plans to lock myself in my room and be bored the whole day just for the sole purpose of avoiding everyone else in the palace.

I'd been hiding in my room for what felt like centuries, but in actuality it had only been a few hours. Ordinarily, I always isolated myself from my family back home, but that was back home; this room was starting to drive me mad, and so I was forced to emerge. I walked the palace grounds for a while and found a nice place to sit by the pond out back. A little turtle duck quacked happily as it swam, carefree. I sighed. You've got it easy, little turtle duck.

A noise from behind me startled me a bit. I turned around and there was none other than Shang. I gave him a small, unsure smile then turned back to the pond. I heard footsteps, then Shang sat next to me.

"I'm going to be honest," he told me as he stared out to the pond. "I really didn't know about the whole arranged marriage thing, but I, um… I was actually starting to like you, Jade. I mean… you know…" he turned his head to look at me and as our eyes met my stomach fluttered. "I mean really like you. And, I mean… I still do. That's not to say I want to marry you right now, but… if you want to really think about us being… I don't know… 'us…' then it'd make me really happy. Think about it."

He turned his head to look back out at the pond again, and my head was spinning. The truth was I'd always been afraid of letting someone in because I didn't want to get hurt, but… we were already engaged, and he actually had feelings for me… It was astounding. I mean sure guys back home might have liked me, but not many, and definitely none as, well… none that were like Shang. And not in the sense that he would eventually be the Firelord; he was amazingly down-to-earth for the ornate lifestyle in which he lived. And quite frankly, though I hate to admit to thinking this way about him, he was rather attractive and, well, I loved how compassionate he seemed to be. And now… well, now I was completely gushing over him like every other girl in the fire nation probably does. Expect I actually knew him, and I liked him for who he was… And now, I suppose, it was time that I admit to myself that I liked him as more than a friend as well…

"Shang?"

"Yes?"

I hesitated, scared out of my mind. I could feel myself shaking; this was totally out of my comfort zone.

"I know that we're in a very strange situation… I, um… But I'm willing to, you know… try to make 'us' work… Like a real couple… If you're sure that's what you want."

Shang gave me a smile that made my insides scream.

"That's definitely what I want," he said sweetly. "And I get the weird situation thing, and I promise we can take it as slow as you want."

"… Thanks." Somehow when he told me we could take it slow it made me feel oddly better. It made me feel like he cared about how I felt and, well… it made me feel like maybe "us" could work…